THEY'RE AT IT AGAIN!

Unbelievable! Racist and jealous conservative pricks are trying to frame O.J. Simpson again! As if they didn't learn the first time, when they tried to pin a bogus murder rap on him, now they're saying he's guilty of armed robbery and kidnapping. Can't they just leave the poor guy alone? What's going on here? Republicans obviously can't stand O.J. because he's a successful African-American man stealing their thunder. He's one of the greatest running backs that ever played the game and he played for the best NFL team that ever existed. I mean, what other team can go to four superbowls in a row and lose every single one? None, that's who! They even hate his name. Because O.J. reminds people of orange juice, and orange is a different color other than white, he's inferior in their eyes. That's a shame! When are we going to realize that we're all just people, with no differences at all between us? If I was an African-American, I would be so furious that I would pull the pick out of my hair and throw it across the room!

As a sidenote, please do not comment to this blog if you're a Republican. Some guy named Conservative Phil (an obvious play on my name) commented previously, and I was mortified. Don't you guys know I can't stand you and your twisted politics? Do you not read these pages? I do not wish to debate you about political topics as you may say something logical and I'll have no way to come back at you. For now, only write to me if you have something liberal and friendly to say. We'll leave it at that.

I have come to the conclusion that I am being gang-stalked, and I blame President Bush for it. He must've seen this blog and panicked. He's obviously not used to getting criticism and wants it to stop. The Patriot Act, Bush's evil little brain-child, allows him to spy on Americans, and I believe that's exactly what he's doing to me. I've obviously become a huge threat to his administration. If anything ever happens to me, like I disappear off the face of the Earth, then I will need you, the good liberal readers, to continue this fight. Just remember that the freedom of humankind is at stake here. I may be hiding out in the sewers for awhile, but I will submerge from time to time to post. Keep the faith (not religiously, of course, as we're Democrats)!

Liberal Johnny. Thanks for listening.

BUSH CRIES LIKE A GIRL!

If you happened to catch the article about Bush, the one where he admits that he cries daily, then you probably thing he's a total girly-man. I know I do. Only women cry, not men. What's wrong with him, too much estrogen? What a jerk. I hate Bush and every one of his tears. They're probably laced with venom. He should be crying for the millions of soldiers that he killed and the innocent terrorists he tortured. He should cry that a good man like Saddam Hussein was put to eath like a common criminal. He should be crying that the Middle East is now a very violent place thanks to him, unlike before we got there. He should be crying for depleting our d-zone. Where are future generations going to walk?

Off-subject, I was watching a television show yesterday and one of the characters made a comment to the effect that Republicans are right. So what does that make us, wrong? I was so offended and angered that I shut the set off and had my cable service disconnected for good. I will never stand for that kind of talk ever again! Before this incident, however, I caught an interview with Fred Thompson, who apparently will announe his candidacy for president in the next few days. What a jerk! I hate Fred Thompson with a passion. I actually used to like him in movies and stuff until I learned of his political leanings, then I immediately hated him. I urge you all to hate him as well. This man does not think as we do, and that makes him dangerous.

I wrote a song the other day all about how much I hate Bush and Fred Thompson. The lyrics go like this: "I hate Bush so bad.. Fred Thompson's a fad.. no one will vote for him in November of 2008 because he's very conservative and he would be the worst thing for this country and because he's for the Iraq war and because he's a lousy actor and I've always hated him and Obaka will kick his butt in November of 2008.." It's still a work in progress, but you get the idea.

Liberal Johnny. Thanks for listening.