Unbelievable! Racist and jealous conservative pricks are trying to frame O.J. Simpson again! As if they didn't learn the first time, when they tried to pin a bogus murder rap on him, now they're saying he's guilty of armed robbery and kidnapping. Can't they just leave the poor guy alone? What's going on here? Republicans obviously can't stand O.J. because he's a successful African-American man stealing their thunder. He's one of the greatest running backs that ever played the game and he played for the best NFL team that ever existed. I mean, what other team can go to four superbowls in a row and lose every single one? None, that's who! They even hate his name. Because O.J. reminds people of orange juice, and orange is a different color other than white, he's inferior in their eyes. That's a shame! When are we going to realize that we're all just people, with no differences at all between us? If I was an African-American, I would be so furious that I would pull the pick out of my hair and throw it across the room!
As a sidenote, please do not comment to this blog if you're a Republican. Some guy named Conservative Phil (an obvious play on my name) commented previously, and I was mortified. Don't you guys know I can't stand you and your twisted politics? Do you not read these pages? I do not wish to debate you about political topics as you may say something logical and I'll have no way to come back at you. For now, only write to me if you have something liberal and friendly to say. We'll leave it at that.
I have come to the conclusion that I am being gang-stalked, and I blame President Bush for it. He must've seen this blog and panicked. He's obviously not used to getting criticism and wants it to stop. The Patriot Act, Bush's evil little brain-child, allows him to spy on Americans, and I believe that's exactly what he's doing to me. I've obviously become a huge threat to his administration. If anything ever happens to me, like I disappear off the face of the Earth, then I will need you, the good liberal readers, to continue this fight. Just remember that the freedom of humankind is at stake here. I may be hiding out in the sewers for awhile, but I will submerge from time to time to post. Keep the faith (not religiously, of course, as we're Democrats)!
Liberal Johnny. Thanks for listening.
3 comments:
Republicans hate O.J. not only because he's African-American, but also because he's the the distant relative of Homer Simpson, a self-animated man who doesn't ally himself with the GOP. Most people don't understand the connection between O.J. and Homer, but I think it's obvious: They both have big lips, solipsistic delusions, and knappy-headed offspring. Also, they both beat their respective spouses, which I heard can be quite a rush when done right. I usually just get Big Jim from cell block 4A to pound my ass when I'm stressed, but one of these days I may just take out my liberal, homosexual, panty-waisted aggressions on my disgusting wife who has perfect and supple breasts (yuck).
Dude you a liberal scum. Damn you to hell or something. GO lcimb a try, faggot! Go suck a donkey penis or a giraffe pussie! You a god shit from my dog and i wnat to thrash you pasty faggity ass with a rcoh hard cock! Read my debt counsilatio n blgo or some shirt. fuck yiu! asshooel! you like men!
Thank you for you articulate defense of our beliefs. I've heard rousing speeches from many of our leaders, but your arguments are so cohesive and powerful that it's a wonder our party isn't utlizing your strenghts. God knows we need them now more than other, brother! For the motherland!
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